The Power of Self-Loving

The past few years, I have come to appreciate the power of truly loving myself. Most of my life, being alone was one of my biggest fears. I found myself in numerous friendships for the wrong reasons and ended up settling in ill-fitting friends. This deeply rooted fear and lack of understanding of myself caused the relationships to become my whole world, focus of attention and my center. I would sacrifice my own goals for the other person. When the friendship collapsed, so did my sense of self. Through much introspection, I realized the source of these failed friendships was myself. I realized that I didn’t truly love or appreciate myself and had relied on external sources for love and approval. I decided to change. I had to overcome my fear of loneliness by finding independence and personal freedom. Even since I found true appreciation for myself, the quality of friendships I have attracted has been phenomenal. I have discovered that the more I loved and understood myself, the less I feared being by myself, and the more healthier friendships I was able to attract into my life.

            

         I started doing what I called “Dates with myself." Regardless my external friendship status, I would schedule time with myself. I would literally take myself out on a date and spend that time totally focused on myself. It’s my time. We spend so much time and energy focused on others that we forget to recharge the source of that energy. It is only when you are well that you can have the energy and internal resources to make a positive difference and help others. This is a simple, yet powerful concept that can dramatically improve your wellbeing, effectiveness and mental health. 

         Needless to say, we have to choose friends who you are proud to know, people you admire, who love and respect you – people who make your day a little brighter simply by being in it.  Don’t walk away from negative people, RUN!  Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.