JAM COLLINS CAMAYA is a good-natured and attractive woman, but I could see through her eyes and the sorrow in the way she held helself. Though her parents were successful people who raised her as middle-class in a humble small town, her mother was warmth and lovely, while her father was never home because of his overseas work.
When she met the man whom she passionately love, as if she had wings, and she's flying high in the sky, feeling the wind romantically blowing through her hair. But that feeling ends when the man she love betrays her, it feels as if she have been dropped like a rock in mid-air. She scramble to grab a hold of something … anything, as she witness her body falling at great speeds, and then shattering on the earth below. That's how unfair the world was!
She was angry, hurt, confused, scared, and lonely inside but she keeps her cheerful personality. She vents so often that I become her punching bag haha! and I don't regret it. Really! She has tons of insighful and remarkable stories.
Whether we’re talking about breakups, or facing the reality of a one-sided romance, it is painful. So much so that it disrupts our normal flow of experiences, causing us to not function normally.
With so much emotion invested and our identities tied in with these experiences, it’s no wonder that this is the number one topic whenever I have conversation with my friends. . Although the stories were different, the underlying message was universal and one in the same, “I am in so much pain from not being with this person – what can I do?”
Sometimes, the pain of lost love is so intense that it can shake our beliefs about romance and relationships. When these emotional bruises are not understood and have not healed properly, they become invisible baggage that drag with us into the next relationship. The simple and radical notion that how we react to these hurts is up to us. Is forgiveness can heals the wounded heart?
Forgiveness can reduce stress, blood pressure, anger, depression, and hurt, and it can increase optimatimism, hope, compassion, and physical vitality. This does not mean that forgiveness is ever easy. It certainly wasn't easy for Jam. But forgiveness was something she sould learn to practice, even if didn't come naturally. Difficult it was, Jam's experience is emblematic of many others I've seen.
Jam had mastered the forgiveness. She determined what she did not like about him, which is his behavior and knew in gruesome detail how she felt about it. She told me what a LOUSE he was.
Jam got her first glimpse at an alterate way of living when she started to practice stress management every time she thought of him.
As forgiveness progressed, Jam began to look at her painful experienced and herself what UNENFORCEABLE RULE she was trying to enforce. I reminded her that she would not be so upset unless she was trying to change something that was impossible for her to change.
The biggest change in Jam was the way she turned her grieveances into more positive stories about herself. She talked with pride of forgiving him and learning how to take care of herself. Jam wa a woman who took her forgiveness to heart.
To become a forgiving person, we have to practice forgiving smaller grievances. Then, when a bigger insult comes, we hare ready, willing and able to deal with it. Alternatively, like Jam, once we learn to forgive a major grievance, we can understand the value of limiting the power that pian and anger hold over us the next time we are hurt. No one can make the people in life behave kindly, fairly, and honestly at all times. Waht we can do is forgive the unkindness that comes our way and put energy toward meeting our positive goals. Perhaps the most fundamental benefit of forgiveness is that over the time it allows us to access to the loving emotions that can lie buried beneath grievances and grudges.
In the long run Jam finds her extraordinary happiness ( her true LOVE). As with all things of the heart, there is an ingredient of magic in finding love. There are no coincidences. Everything happens for a reason. Love is beautiful and unpredictable. The best thing we can do is to start to become the most outstanding person possible. The universe will know when we are ready, and when we are, true love will happen, unexpectedly.
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