With our interminable small steps of propositions into uncomfortable territory we are often able to sidestep the biggest barrier to positive change: Fear. Sometimes we’re afraid we’ll fail. Sometimes we’re subconsciously afraid we’ll succeed and then we’d have to deal with all the disruption (growth) and change that follows success. And other times it’s our fear of rejection or simply our fear of looking like a fool. The best way to defeat fear is to stare it down. Connect to your fear, feel it in your body, realize it and steadily address it. Greet it by name if you have to: “Welcome, fear.” Fear can be a guiding friend if you learn how to swallow it, and listen to it only when it serves its true purpose of warning you when you are in danger.
The Challenge
In the summer of last year, my friends and I were invited to join a training camp. The camp is situated in the middle of a forest, surrounded by several mountains, and hundreds of kilometers away from any major center. We were out of the civilization and electricity is impossible to reach. Bewildered by the situation of being dependent on nature, we learned different kinds of survival skills like creating a fire with the use of dry bamboo. I find the bamboo fire method surprisingly tedious because it took me about 30 minutes to make an ember.
Nontheless, our first challenge was to gather some coconuts to satistfy our thisrt. This idea encouraged participants to take bold risks. As a result, I volunteered myself. I learned to take a risks and I wanted to change my attitude toward taking chances. I see myself as an open-minded, goal-oriented person who achieves and suceeds through hard work and determination.
I closed my eyes and had a mental image of myself climbing the long, stiff, and slippery coconut trunk. I began wondering about the range of my abilities because of my fragile and skinny arms and legs. It's a mental torture, really. The anxiety sets in but then the light of awareness shines on me. I faced the light and the shadows fall behind me. Then little voice in my head was changed into positive-self talk. As I ascended to 10 feet above the ground, my knees trembled uncontrollably and my hands began to shake as I pulled myself up. My eyes gauged the distance to my friends below, suddenly I paused and started to contemplate. The doubt was overwhelming my desire to finish the goal to climb to the top. I could not understand the thoughts floating in my mind, but I was determined and I straightened out and clung the trunk tight and threw my head back. I was physically exhausted but with strong desire I continue climbing. Finally, I reached the top and my soul overflowed with joy. I had done it! All the shame, worry, and castigation melted away in that moment. I started to grab my machete from the side, which was attached with intertwined rope around my waist. With my final breath I exhaled then extended my right arm. I bent my waist and back out to transfer the force onto the arm that held the machete. Then I cut through the stem that connects the fruit. Suddenly the fruit fell after the second slashed due to its 3 lb weight and gravity. I was relieved. It brought me great pleasure and enhanced my growing confidence. This experience made me realize not to avoid such opportunities in the future since I am learning to take risks and couragely welcome my fear.
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